Why William really won the battle of Hastings by Ben Y7 2001-2

Spot the anachronisms!

In The Middle Ages William went to the Ikea in Toulouse where he bought a flat pack Motte and Bailey after sending a few people to buy an Ikea menu for F1.50 having a doughnut, a sandwich and a coke. So now he was ready to go conquer England. The Normans were happy they had arrived in England with no enemies and all at the same time they thought “maybe we scared them to death.” They were also happy, as they had got a good deal with their flat pack castle because they had a family card (yes the Norman army counted as one big family.)

But then an army of really smelly people walked over with shields with a ruler on and daggers with pencils on the end without price tags, also half the army had a coke, a hotdog and a doughnut and it looked like it cost them £1.50. William thought hard and realised hat there was an Ikea in Birmingham and soon (year 2000) be one in Bristol so they needn’t have bothered to go to Toulouse. Now William was in a bad state so he played some nasty tricks on the English killed them and then was quite nasty once he was king.

The End

No one was hurt in the making of this essay apart from some rats in Edinburgh, which I did some tests on, and a dog broke his leg (which wasn’t much to do with the essay)